After walking across the park in the 100 degree heat, we finally reach the restaurant where we chose to have lunch. Blue tried to plan every aspect of our trip to Sea World, including where we would eat. We purposefully wait beyond the lunch hour in hopes to avoid the crowd. It is 3 p.m. when we walk into find that we indeed had not missed the crowd. "This place reminds me of the cafeteria at school," he says. This is the first clue -not good. "And it doesn't look anything like it did on the website!"
I stand in line while he and Dad stake out a table. The one Dad finds open is a part of long table in the middle of the room that we would have to share with other families -loud families! NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!
Blue steps through the crowded line crossing in front of people with a huge frown on his face, not saying excuse me to anyone. "I don't want to eat here! We have to go!" he commands. I explain that the park is full today and anywhere we go is going to be crowded. That's a part of being at an amusement park. "But I don't like the table where dad is sitting. It's dirty and there's too many people!" I tell him to try to find another more private table while I wait in line. I can see him getting more and more agitated and frustrated from across the room. His dad doesn't seemed to be phased.
Eventually, Dad does scope out a private table by the window where we end up eating our overpriced, less than mediocre food and drinks. Our plates are covered with napkins to keep the flies away in-between bites. This is not a 'happy meal'.
As we walk away, with sadness in his eyes Blue says, "I thought this day was going to be perfect. like it looked on the web site advertisements.) Why do I have to get so mad? Why can't I just be normal?" To which I reply, "Are you kidding? You're fantastic! You're are so smart and sensitive. You're a talented artist! Normal people don't change the world, but you...you are a genius. You will grow up and change the world to make it a better place!" He looks at me and gives me a half smile. I hope he half believed me.
We spend a total of 11 hours at Sea World in 100 degree plus heat! All I can say is that I love my son! I love my son! I love my son!
By the end of the day, we are crippled, aching from head to toe and exhausted! After the last "Shamoo @ Night" show...he finally looses it! We have meltdown central right there in the midst of the crowd.
We left our older son at home on this trip so that Blue could be the center of attention and have things his way. I'm sure it helped cut down on the bickering and disagreements. However, I am still convinced that the term Family Vacation is definitely an oxymoron.
Days later we meet with his therapist who tells us we have to try to plan not to go to, loud, dirty, overcrowded, overstimulating restaurants. Maybe we should have packed a lunch, or even left the park to go somewhere to take a break. This was actually what I wanted to do, but I couldn't convince Blue that we could leave the park and come back. "That doesn't make any sense!" he said.
Each challenging experience is an opportunity to learn. We have to continually remind ourselves and our son, that this is not a perfect world. In fact, it's far from it. We are not the family in the advertisements smiling and having a great time. We are the family just trying to get through the day without killing each other.

Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
Risa · 230 weeks ago
LAH · 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
diyalabs6192603 11p · 192 weeks ago
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Spoil your cat · 122 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago