Yesterday's swim practice was slightly better. One thing for sure is that he is getting a good workout! Aren't work outs supposed to be good for your mood? NOT! He bitches and moans when I say it's time to get ready to go. This is a normal...he bitches and moans whenever I ask him to do anything! He will do it, but you have to hear the moaning first. I just plan for it.
When coaxing him to get out of his bed to go to practice I say, "You know Kendal if you keep working out like this, by the time school starts the girls will be like, Wow! Who is that good looking guy with the muscles?"
To which he replies, "I don't care! Girls should like me for who I am and because I believe in God!" I have to admit...good answer! Too bad the majority of teenage girls don't think like that. Not that he is ready in any way, shape or form for a girlfriend!
As he's moaning about getting out of bed I think...how lucky is this kid that he has a mom who will sign him up for sleep away camp, movie camp and swim team all in the same month. (Yes...she is trying to keep him busy so he won't bug the shit out of her -but still!) What does he do? "I DON'T WANT TO GO! I'm tired! Stop spending all this money on this stuff! Why can't you just buy me a new HD video camera? (To the tune of $550.00). Why? "Because the list of things that you want is never ending and you're never satisfied. We buy one thing and a week later, you want something else." I didn't mention that the video camera will not keep you busy enough and away from me for at least part of the day!
People with Aspergers tend to get fixated on things, and when they do they can be relentless in talking about them. Kendal is fixated on expensive computer programs and video equipment. We bought him a camera for Christmas which is now 'not good enough'. We got tired of the constant asking and told him that he had to earn and save money for the things that he wants. So he started a video editing business making home movies and DVD slide presentations for friends, family, teachers, and anyone who would listen to his pitch! Then he became fixated on ways to find new business. That's not a bad thing, however, somehow that became our responsibility and problem too! He made and saved enough money to buy a few things, but since his list is ceaseless, his business slowed down before his list of wants did. So he's back to begging...DAILY, HOURLY, RELENTLESSLY!
Back to swimming -once I got him to the pool, he did much better. The coach actually got in the water to physically show him, instead of just telling him. I was so grateful to see that! I thought, 'Wow this guy must have gone home and did some research.' I actually saw, pride and accomplishment on Kendal's face during the session. Of course, immediately following his session he comes over to me, with that same painful expression and says, "Mom...I really need that video camera!"
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Swim Team Part Deaux (2)
Logging you in...Comments by IntenseDebate
Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
Risa · 230 weeks ago
LAH · 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
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Spoil your cat · 122 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago