I wanted to go see my friend in Houston, but escaping requires a get-away plan and my plan had too many roadblocks. The first road block was needing to get my oil changed at the dealer and having them look at my 'service required' light. There was a block of cars in the express line, too long to service before the work day ended. Then there was all of the fighting that went on Saturday night. No...I'm not talking about the siblings fighting. This time it was father and son. Son's computer was screwed up and father blamed said screw up on son. Son rather loudly disagreed and tried his level best to wake me up while I was napping in an attempt to get rid of my headache. Son was at the point of wanting to move out of the house by the time I got up. Of course, he has no clue, or no place to go. Who would put up with him without killing him besides his family?
"That's not fair!" I hear him yelling to the top of his lungs.
"If you wake up your mother I'm gonna knock you in the mouth," says dad. (Too late...I'm already awake from all the freakin' screaming. How valiant, I think to myself while laying in the darkness of my room where I am hiding, but not sleeping. He's trying to protect me. He's trying to allow me to rest. Whereas son, could care less that I am resting. He only cares that Dad is being unfair and mean! Dad really doesn't have much patience when it comes to his son. His son drives him crazy with all of his white noise, constant complaining, repeating himself, teasing his brother and constantly asking for more. No matter what we give him, he hardly misses a beat before he is asking for something else.
The bottom line is...I don't want to take both boys with me because it will not be relaxing at all. I feel too guilty to leave the one at home who is the biggest pain in the ass, because Dad just may "knock him in the mouth". He won't really, but it will not be fun for either of them. How can I leave them both in misery together and go gallivanting off to Houston to have fun with his younger brother. Younger brother can behave himself well enough when he is alone. He also gets along famously with my girlfriend's children.
I try in futility to get Dad to promise me that he will speak softly and carry a big stick, if I go. He can't make me any promises, at least not any promises that will remove the guilt from my leaving. I know that if I leave, I will get countless phone calls. "Mom...Dad's being mean! Mom -when are you coming home? It's not fair? Why didn't I get to go? I want to see the girls too!"
The truth is, he would be bored after he showed them his videos on YouTube. He would be teasing and taunting his brother like he does every day. He would get off on some tangent about how unfair it is that he doesn't have everything in the world that some other kid has!
When I woke up Sunday morning to the rain I settled on that being the final roadblock of my trip that wasn't meant to be. I wish that I was one of those Mom's who could walk out the door and not look back, and not pick up the phone. Sometimes I am that mom. On this day, I was not.