Friday, May 22, 2020

Quarantine Stories

Me on my front porch 
Before all of this
all I could think was
how much I want to get out of here
I was starving for adventure to stir my soul
freedom, quiet, alone, thinking, dreaming, writing,
seeing, feeling,
something beautiful
preferably and ocean
anywhere, but here


Universe says
“Not so fast, missy. Slow your roll.
No, I mean seriously.
Slow it, like it has never been before.”
No intoxicating excursion for your birthday
Appreciate the journeys you have already taken
They play on a highlight reel in your mind
See the memories like a film
--a brilliant, permanent, imprint on your soul
The journey is in your mind
It is the best kind
Write it down on paper
touch it
let it carry you through the ache
while the memories sustain you


Up in this Club Quarantine
DJ Nice fills our dreams
and lonely nights with music
the soundtrack of happier days
dancing in our pj’s
no requests
he just plays
what he wants
"Let it breathe"
as we stream
this party in our bedrooms
put it through the stereo
nice and slow
lay down in between
he puts on Prince
and I scream
like I used to do
when life was new
up again
music soothing like the wind
vibe making me
forget this hell of a reality
moving my body
after dark
is when it really sets off


I wake up wistful
same place, same thing
nothing happening
emptiness, gratitude
intertwined with profound sadness
not a lock-down
a slow down

Misplaced freedoms
more than before
grateful for health
wanting more
reminders everywhere
life can change in a heartbeat
not nice or neat
the energy
pushing away
negative thoughts as they emerge
uninvited guests
go home

Absence from the yoga studio
community, friendly smiles, humanity, energy
Appreciating I can breathe, freely
...not gasping for air in a cold, empty
 hospital room -left alone,
to die like many
unprecedented times
tired but alive

Craving the ocean
content with the breeze
front porch, sitting
newly blossomed red oak trees
belong to me
A family
of Blue Jays
make my home theirs
Squirrels scurry everywhere
looking for harvest
in the tall, green grasses

Surrounded by family
yet lonely
loving these folk desperately
but wanting to leave
missing friends
wanting to miss this family 
bored of their conversations
fatigued from negotiation
over dinner
a sushi picnic for one
in my car
chartreuse coffee cup
fill her up
white wine
don't tell nobody
palate heightened by wasabi
sunroof open -breeze blowing
sun setting
filling empty journal pages
thoughts and words
voices muted by time and spaces
sexy silence curated

Isn't it lovely