 |
| Me on my front porch |
all I could think was
how much I want to get out of here
I was starving for adventure to stir my soul
freedom, quiet, alone, thinking, dreaming, writing,
seeing, feeling,
something beautiful
preferably and ocean
anywhere, but here
*******
Universe says
“Not so fast, missy. Slow your roll.
No, I mean seriously.
Slow it, like it has never been before.”
No intoxicating excursion for your birthday
Appreciate the journeys you have already taken
They play on a highlight reel in your mind
See the memories like a film
--a brilliant, permanent, imprint on your soul
The journey is in your mind
It is the best kind
Write it down on paper
touch it
let it carry you through the ache
while the memories sustain you
********
Up in this Club Quarantine
DJ Nice fills our dreams
and lonely nights with music
the soundtrack of happier days
dancing in our pj’s
no requests
he just plays
what he wants
"Let it breathe"
as we stream
this party in our bedrooms
put it through the stereo
nice and slow
lay down in between
he puts on Prince
and I scream
like I used to do
when life was new
up again
music soothing like the wind
vibe making me
forget this hell of a reality
moving my body
after dark
is when it really sets off
******
longing
same place, same thing
nothing happening
emptiness, gratitude
intertwined with profound sadness
not a lock-down
a slow down
Misplaced freedoms
more than before
trapped
grateful for health
wanting more
reminders everywhere
life can change in a heartbeat
not nice or neat
the energy
pushing away
negative thoughts as they emerge
uninvited guests
go home
Absence from the yoga studio
community, friendly smiles, humanity, energy
Appreciating I can breathe, freely
...not gasping for air in a cold, empty
hospital room -left alone,
to die like many
unprecedented times
tired but alive
Craving the ocean
content with the breeze
front porch, sitting
newly blossomed red oak trees
belong to me
A family
of Blue Jays
make my home theirs
Squirrels scurry everywhere
looking for harvest
in the tall, green grasses
Surrounded by family
yet lonely
loving these folk desperately
but wanting to leave
missing friends
wanting to miss this family
fatigued from negotiation
over dinner
Ah...
a sushi picnic for one
in my car
chartreuse coffee cup
fill her up
white wine
perfect
don't tell nobody
palate heightened by wasabi
sunroof open -breeze blowing
sun setting
filling empty journal pages
thoughts and words
voices muted by time and spaces
sexy silence curated
Isn't it lovely
Logging you in...
Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
Risa · 230 weeks ago
LAH · 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
diyalabs6192603 11p · 192 weeks ago
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Spoil your cat · 122 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago