When you were sleeping |
Watching you sleep is still one of one of my favorite things. Maybe it's because it reminds me of when you were a baby. You were such a beautiful baby and one thing you did really well, was sleep. Maybe it's because it's the only time that you're quiet when you're around me.
When you come home to visit now, I realize that absence has made my heart grow fonder. Despite how tough life was when we lived together, it was hard to let go when it was time for you to move out. But it turns out that the distance between us is healthy. You have to think on your feet more now. You problem solve daily, without my input. I can focus on your brother and finding out who I am now that my biggest job has changed.
I want you to know, it's the simplest things that make me proud of you. Every day you get up for work, on your own; probably without a clock. You make yourself a healthy breakfast. You go work out and then ride the bus to work early, to ensure that you get there on time. In fact, you give yourself a cushion, arriving most days an hour before you start. You're very conscientious about being on time and never missing a shift.
Do you know how awesome that is? Most people your age are not like that. I wonder does your employer notice your incredible work ethic? It will serve you well throughout your life.
I remember in middle school and high school, being on time was not something you were the least bit interested in. In fact, getting you out of bed and out the door each day left me ready for spiked coffee and a nap. Look at you now. I never could have imagined that you could get up early in the morning, on your own, to be anywhere.
When you came home last night, you hugged me. You smelled good; freshly showered. I noticed right away that your jacket smelled freshly laundered. I was like...wow! This boy is on his game! A year ago, you would do your laundry, but things like your jacket and washing sheets weren't on your radar. It required a prompt, and even prompts may be ignored.
I can see that living with your brother is putting the finishing touches on your journey to manhood. You used to wear your hair short so that you wouldn't have to brush it. Now, you brush it after your shower and put on a wave cap as the finishing touch.
I hope that you appreciate your brother half as much as I do. When I'm down and feeling sorry for myself, I think of you two and I am grateful. I could have never imagined him taking on this responsibility a few years ago. Having you come to live with him was his idea. He extended himself and he has really stepped up to the plate. I think you are helping each other grow. Seeing where both of you are at this point in your lives, makes my heart sing.
All of the years I thought for sure, I was doing this motherhood thing all wrong. I wasn't sure what adult life would look like for you. The men you are now, responsible, hardworking, positive, contributers to society, and most of all you have loving hearts. It makes me think maybe, I got something right.
Even when you were fighting so hard against us, you were paying attention.
Now, can you convince your little brother to move in with you next?
I am praying for you always...
Love,
Mom
Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
Risa · 230 weeks ago
LAH · 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
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Spoil your cat · 122 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago