Monday, December 5, 2016

I was just thinking...


Inside my head 
 there is light 
ideas 
to-do lists that never end
darkness
danger
loneliness
 thinking
observing
examining
   simple things 
become complex 
the complex, unfinished 
celebratiion of mastery
open your eyes
you will see it
it's there 
I promise 

 Who am I? 
 writer 
mother 
wife
daughter
sister 
friend
  human 

How did I get here? 
Where am I going? 
 I live here? 
Really?
What do I want?

Where are you old friend? 
What happened to us?
Thank you new friend
illumination in a dim world
grateful, true friend
 lifetime friend 

Progress
is there 
Wake up! 
Pay attention!  
He's playing music
 planning
 reaching  
thinking thoughts 
he didn't think before
washing linens
developing relationships
making a life
simple things
are huge 
if you watch
you will see
It will rock your world
if you let it

Hold up
autism
 regression
anxiety
I hate you 
let it be
the universe is doing it's thing 
without my help
wait a minute
there it is... 
accomplishment in minutia
grace in action
 success 
and then some
behind peers here 
light years ahead, there 
 mind -overflowing
 heart generously given
away
he is me 
the best
 the worst 
a mirror
 a reflection 
I wish not to see

And then there is marriage 
all encompassing 
all in
fidelity 
promises kept
we are one 
and yet, two
growing together
falling apart
giving our all
keeping inadequate pieces
he wants me 
he needs me 
so does he
 so does she
there has to be me 
before there can be we 
without me
 there is no us 

I love you 
I am in love with me too