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Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Today this happened...

"Oh crap!" I thought to myself when I got the phone call. When there is even the possibility of ice on the ground the world stops in Austin. Today was a 2 hour delay because we were below freezing and their was a little precipitation.  For Red's adult transition program, this would mean NO CLASS today.  

To top it off, I have to drive him to therapy. It's gray. It's cloudy. This is going to be hell. Or so I thought. 

Then this happened...

While I was having my coffee and avoiding contact with Red, he posted a status on Facebook to the attention of close friends and family. 

"I've been feeling really guilty lately because haven't been living the true Christian life like I'm supposed to. I haven't been reading my bible. I haven't been praying that often. I honestly haven't been paying attention in church. I haven't been excited and on fire for God like I was when I got out of church camp. I feel like I'm starting not to care as much about anything but myself. And that is not good. 

I've been a selfish arrogant fool to my loved ones and those who care about me. I don't know what is real anymore. Sometimes there are days where I don't want to believe in anything but I can't let Satan win. I just hope that I never loose my faith because sometimes I feel like he's not there. The faith is still there and I just need to grow my faith and trust God and the people he has put in my life. 

I've been struggling a lot at home and it's been getting worse and worse. It's getting to the point where I can't live there anymore. My parents are about to kick me out the house and I cannot let that happen. I've disappointed a lot of people. I have a lot of apologies to make. 

Usually, life takes more than it gives. To my family members and loved ones, I apologize for my arrogance and rudeness over the past few months but all I'm asking for is forgiveness. To anyone who is reading this, I'm asking for your prayers for me and my family. Thank you for your acceptance and forgiveness over my blunders. I love you guys so much." 

*Reposted with his permission. 

To which I replied, 

"You are an excellent writer son. You should stop being afraid to take college classes. I think you could do great. You seem to have your mother's talent for writing.  Now if you could only live this. You're living your life in fear instead of trusting God's plan for your life. 

By the way ...we don't want apologies. We get apologies all the time. We want progress. We want you to stop fighting against all of the help that you have in your life. We want to be treated with dignity and respect. This writing and self-reflection is great, but action is much better."

Now I don't know how much of this is real. What is scripted thought he's picked up from a song, or what he's heard someone say, but I don't care. It is a step in the right direction. And today was a good day. 

The Lesson I learned? 

Just because the ingredients are present, don't always assume it's going to be a recipe for the worse day ever. Be hopeful ...optimistic. You just may end up with chocolate chip cookies. 

Does that make any sense? Sorry. I have cookies on the brain.