Slap me now so I can snap out of it! If I wasn't so tired today, I would slap myself.
Once again, I have over scheduled my day with "things to do" for other people, while putting myself on the back burner. I can sit back, look in the mirror, and give myself some great advice. "Just say No!" In fact, I've written that blog before. I've given that advice to many moms, but here I am not freakin following it.
This was my FB status today...
All week long, I have been putting out small fires in one of the online communities that I run. I have been spending more time than I have available, being a resource to others. Which by the way, is one of my favorite things to do, but it puts me behind schedule for other priorities in my life.
I have done some work on the outline of my book, but not nearly enough. I don't like the direction of the outline. It is boring me. I want to tell our story, but in a fun, unique, funny way. I don't want it to be just your ordinary Aspergers parenting book. I feel like I need a good block of time, to sit, play music and really think about the direction I want this book to go in, and hash-out the outline. It just feels like a massive task. I do better with small snippets -like this blog.
My advice to myself, is to just take it in small pieces. One step at-a-time, and you will get there. Only I feel like my steps have been minimal because of all kinds of distractions, including my Facebook addiction. If I could drop that bad habit, I'd be further down the line to where I need to be. Loser!
I am behind in my own self-care. My hair needs to be colored, twisted and perhaps even cut and it's been that way for over a week. I've been hiding behind pretty, silk scarves, and head wraps. What lies underneath is scary! My nails need to be done. If you follow me on Facebook, you know that my toes are my "pretty girly thing" that I try to do for myself on a regular basis.
Also, I probably really need to see my doctor. I feel bad. Then I feel good, and so I put if off. I know what her advice will be...
-Add more cardio into your daily routine.
-Eat healthier.
-Take more time for yourself.
That's what she said the last time. I followed her directions for about a week.
So today ...I am over scheduled with shit for other people. Red made a doctors appointment to talk about a weight loss program that will work for him. I take him at 1:15 today. Then I take him to work.
I then go pick up my mom and take her to get her nails done. Why? Because I've already been putting her off for 2 weeks. Yes. I've put myself off too. But who cares about that? (No. I will not be getting my own nails done today. While she's getting hers done, I have to go back and pick Red up from work.)
My mom told me 2 weeks ago that I "treat her like shit," because she's really just sad, isolated and depressed, which is really not my problem. This is the life that she has created. I know that it's her and not me, but still. I guilt myself into doing things for her that I really DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR. But she's my mother. She's 74. She doesn't drive. She lives with me. So I play the part of the dutiful daughter.
A big part of my problem is just plain old disorganization -Attention Deficit Disorder at it's best. I really think my life would be so much simpler if I were just an organized person.
I am full of self-loathing today. I feel like an overwhelmed, scatterbrained, idiot.
So in order, not to bite anyone's head off this afternoon, I will take a brief nap now. That will be the extent of my self-care for today.
Anyone out there have some advice on how to become organized? I would love to hear it. I can not however, promise you that I will follow it for more than a week.
Once again, I have over scheduled my day with "things to do" for other people, while putting myself on the back burner. I can sit back, look in the mirror, and give myself some great advice. "Just say No!" In fact, I've written that blog before. I've given that advice to many moms, but here I am not freakin following it.
 |
| Great Advice right? |
"The To-Do list keeps growing in the wrong direction. I need a personal assistant to help me be everyone's personal assistant."
All week long, I have been putting out small fires in one of the online communities that I run. I have been spending more time than I have available, being a resource to others. Which by the way, is one of my favorite things to do, but it puts me behind schedule for other priorities in my life.
I have done some work on the outline of my book, but not nearly enough. I don't like the direction of the outline. It is boring me. I want to tell our story, but in a fun, unique, funny way. I don't want it to be just your ordinary Aspergers parenting book. I feel like I need a good block of time, to sit, play music and really think about the direction I want this book to go in, and hash-out the outline. It just feels like a massive task. I do better with small snippets -like this blog.
My advice to myself, is to just take it in small pieces. One step at-a-time, and you will get there. Only I feel like my steps have been minimal because of all kinds of distractions, including my Facebook addiction. If I could drop that bad habit, I'd be further down the line to where I need to be. Loser!
I am behind in my own self-care. My hair needs to be colored, twisted and perhaps even cut and it's been that way for over a week. I've been hiding behind pretty, silk scarves, and head wraps. What lies underneath is scary! My nails need to be done. If you follow me on Facebook, you know that my toes are my "pretty girly thing" that I try to do for myself on a regular basis.
Also, I probably really need to see my doctor. I feel bad. Then I feel good, and so I put if off. I know what her advice will be...
-Add more cardio into your daily routine.
-Eat healthier.
-Take more time for yourself.
That's what she said the last time. I followed her directions for about a week.
So today ...I am over scheduled with shit for other people. Red made a doctors appointment to talk about a weight loss program that will work for him. I take him at 1:15 today. Then I take him to work.
I then go pick up my mom and take her to get her nails done. Why? Because I've already been putting her off for 2 weeks. Yes. I've put myself off too. But who cares about that? (No. I will not be getting my own nails done today. While she's getting hers done, I have to go back and pick Red up from work.)
My mom told me 2 weeks ago that I "treat her like shit," because she's really just sad, isolated and depressed, which is really not my problem. This is the life that she has created. I know that it's her and not me, but still. I guilt myself into doing things for her that I really DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR. But she's my mother. She's 74. She doesn't drive. She lives with me. So I play the part of the dutiful daughter.
A big part of my problem is just plain old disorganization -Attention Deficit Disorder at it's best. I really think my life would be so much simpler if I were just an organized person.
I am full of self-loathing today. I feel like an overwhelmed, scatterbrained, idiot.
So in order, not to bite anyone's head off this afternoon, I will take a brief nap now. That will be the extent of my self-care for today.
Anyone out there have some advice on how to become organized? I would love to hear it. I can not however, promise you that I will follow it for more than a week.
Logging you in...
Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
Risa · 230 weeks ago
LAH · 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
diyalabs6192603 11p · 192 weeks ago
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Spoil your cat · 121 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago