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Monday, August 29, 2011

Guest Post by Flannery of The Connor Chronicles

I am thrilled to announce this Guest Post from Flannery @ Life on the Spectrum: The Connor Chronicles  Flannery is a hilarious, cut-the-crap, honest writer.  You can not read one of her posts without laughing, crying or both simultaneously.  Her son5 year-old son Connor has severe ADHD and mild Aspergers.  Please go CHECK OUT HER BLOG  if you have a need to smile.


Living on the Spectrum: The Connor Chronicles


The sun is shining brighter, the air smells delicious, and there’s a bounce in my step from walking on fluffy, cotton-candy clouds.  I’m as giddy as a tiny sprite, visiting the Magic Kingdom for the first time.

All this boundless love and cheer is sponsored by:  THE START OF A NEW SCHOOL YEAR!!!!

Yay for school!!  No more summer camp!  No more phone calls before noon, to pick up my unruly child!  No more walking in and seeing camp counselors holding ice packs to their swollen, red shins (true story).  No more living in fear that will lose my mediocre-at-best job!

The people at school know what they’re doing.  They have a handle on things, damn it.  I have acronyms that guarantee they have to work with my child; IEPs and BIPs and there’s even an IRI.  These people know what they’re doing and can handle shenanigans.

And as the first week of school draws to a close, the bliss is that much sweeter because it was a GOOD week.  What’s that you say?  A good week??  How long has it been since we’ve had one of those??

Well, since school ended, basically.

After the first day, which was all-day at extended care, there were no more incidents of hitting or biting.  And this makes me happier than a stoner at a Grateful Dead concert.  You know that super-annoying, repetitive, makes-you-feel-like-you-want-to-blow-your-brains-out smurf song??

“La, la, la-la-la-la, la, la, la, la-la!!”

Yep, that’s what’s in my head.

That’s not to say the week went off without a hitch.  That would just be crazy-talk.  There was this small incident, that happened two days in a row.  It seems my son is working very hard on the concept of humor, and thinks it’s hysterically funny, during extended care, to come out of the bathroom with his pants down.

“Hahahahaha, heeheehee, his pants are down, that is SOOOOOOOOOO funny!!!”  That is what’s going on in his head during this escapade.

Now of course we talked to him about this being inappropriate, and really not funny or okay.  But after all, he is a six-year-old boy, so it’s rather hard to convince him that having your pants around your ankles isn’t the funniest thing since Jim Carrey bent over and talked with his butt cheeks.   
Wait, that gives me an idea for behavior replacement...

Luckily he listened, and this has stopped, at least for now.   I can’t help but think he’s channeling his inner Steve Martin, and may have some kind of future in comedy.

But honestly, if I hear “Mommy, look at my butt” one more time, I’m sending for Chris Rock to come and “whoop his ass!”

Don't forget to go visit Flannery @ The Connor Chronicles

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