It starts with a girl...of course. Boy likes girl, girl likes boy, until girl who has emotional issues on top of being a naturally hormonal adolescent, decides she can't handle liking such an intense boy -a boy with Aspergers who would like nothing more than to totally focus on this girl. Girls says, "I can't handle this. It's not working out." Boy subsequently, goes of the deep end with hurt, anger and rage. He does not however, direct that rage at girl, because she is too innocent and sweet. Instead, his teachers are the lucky recipients of colorful expletives, because "I can't think of any other words to express how angry I am." There's nothing like a slew of curse words to exclaim your feelings. Boy has a sort of Aspergian melt down where he can not see or hear anyone's point of view. He does make sure that they hear his, over and over and over again in a extremely audible tone. When redirected he will not listen or follow directions.
At age 14 boy is about 5 foot 9 inches tall and weighs a hefty 200 pounds (thanks to the help of medication which is supposed to help control these outburst -apparently not). Boy looks so angry that he intimidates teacher who stands at about 5 foot 2 inches tall. When boy continues not to listen to redirection, teacher calls the campus Police Officer to help get him to settle down. His presence alone does this luckily...this time. The fact that the officer has been called completely blows away the boys mother (by the way, that's me). She is brought to tears and is shaking in fear as she approaches the classroom and sees the patrol car parked outside. I never wanted to use the words my son and Police Officer in the same sentence. Mom gets herself together before she enters the classroom to appear strong and in control. Officer explains to Mom that he understand how the young man feels. It is his job to keep him safe as well as the safety of the other students and teachers.
Son can't believe they "actually called the cops on me." Well, son you were looking angry and intimidating, you wouldn't listen, the teacher felt like she needed assistance.
directs anger at teachers, mother and brother, but most ostensibly at teachers, whom he decides to curse out and blame. Of course, it's not their fault, but they are an easier target than this really sweet young girl who is the real culprit.
Not the expert mom with all the answers...the mom who can't stop looking for them.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Where do I begin?
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Comments by IntenseDebate
Posting anonymously.
Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 244 weeks ago
Risa · 231 weeks ago
LAH · 222 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 217 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
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Spoil your cat · 122 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago